Hey! What? (3)

WHO KNEW?

(*Author’s Note: This was originally written in 2020, hence me writing “it’s 2020”.)

CORONAVIRUS? GLOBAL PANDEMIC? “LOCK” “DOWN”s?

Who knew!

I did.

My dear friend Sylvia Browne actually predicted COVID-19 years ago, so I was completely unsurprised.

(Sylvia Browne, pictured here! P.S. – Torch? More like matchstick… And I’d say that to her face! She got my sense of humor. And my second husband!)

She wasn’t right about everything (she believed that a parallel universe of faeries and leprechauns existed 7 inches above our own, which is completely insane. That’s not how universes work, AT ALL! They all exist to the LEFT of us, every medium worth her (or his! Or their! I don’t judge!) salt knows this.

I happen to know this belief of Sylvia’s was born out of a misunderstood experience with a primordial dwarf at Lily Dale Medium Con in 1986. I know because I was there! In spirit. (Literally! My body was in divorce court in Des Moines.) Ask her if you don’t believe me, but be warned: She’s a liar.

“But… she’s dead!” You exclaim. 

True enough. And she’s still a liar.

But I digress.

If you’re asking why I didn’t warn you…

I tried!

People can’t handle the truth when they’re told straight out – if they could, they would have believed my dear friend Sylvia Browne in the first place! Of course, she was wrong about most things (especially her taste in accessories!), but that’s besides the point. 

The point is:

I did try to warn you. Vibrationally! I was sending out the radio waves… is it my fault you didn’t have the right antennae?! I know what you’re thinking. “It’s 2020 – I haven’t seen an antennae in years!” Get off Instagram, people! It’s a major psychic block. I only use it for business and pleasure, and I sage myself completely after each session. (Follow me!)